Tuesday, April 7, 2009

A website that can help you stay sane


I have recently come across this website called "Plugin ID" which is written by a young guy (geez, I'm getting old...) (he's about 19) but his site is FULL of wisdom.

You can find his site here. I've linked to a post that talks about figuring out "who you really are," which is a very important part of staying sane, don't you think?

This writer is very much "wise beyond his years," and he deserves a spot on anyone's feedreader who is working on improving themselves. No, I don't know him. But check his work out, I daresay you will be glad that you did!

Saturday, February 21, 2009

Mary, Please

In one place that I used to live, people would often say "Mary, Please..." as an exasperated expression of disbelief and/or annoyance.

For example... (even if your name is Beth) the conversation might go "You make $275,000 a year?? 'Mary, Please.' I KNOW that's not true...,"

I was just idly wondering if anyone besides me had heard that, and if so, what they attributed it to.

I reckon expressing disbelief and/or mild discontent at someone can help with Sanity. :)

Make it a fabulous day/weekend. You have the power to do so, you really do.

Friday, February 6, 2009

New Bloggie!

I am working on a new version of Manic Meltdown... I will continue to update this site for a while, but eventually this one will begin to be updated less and less. I'm excited!

More tips on staying sane, our insane world, and so on, to come!

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

Five Ways to Keep Yourself Centered in Gratitude

It’s ever so easy—particularly when times are tough as they are for lots of us economically right now— to focus on what’s wrong or what’s missing in one’s life. Personally, I’m getting daily reminders of that in my life since my recent job loss and a freaking snowstorm that has kept me so housebound that I’ve not yet even been able to apply for unemployment (!) (You can’t do it online in this crazy state I live in…) …but I’ve been walking this mortal coil long enough to know that what we pay attention to in our lives grows and gets bigger.

I don’t want fear or loss or any other negative thing to get bigger in my life.


So I choose to focus on gratitude, uplifting things, etc. and so forth. The rough facts though are that some hours/days/weeks it’s a struggle, no matter how positive I try to be…. The thing is, that’s just part of the human condition. I feel so sorry for the people I work with on occasion who get mired in that fear etc. and stay there… without seeing that there are *always* choices.

It can be a struggle for all/any of us… so hopefully to help, not just me but any potential (theoretical?) readers out there, in no particular order, here are some tips to help those who might be teetering—like me.

1.) Focus on the basics. Even the basic basics. Sometimes in very dire moments this is really hard. I saw a gut wrenching posting on another blog where a parent had written in “How in the world could she be "positive" when she had children and was worried about them/feeding them/etc.??” That’s a tough one, but what you do is you break it down. Do you have a roof over your children’s head for tonight? Do you have food for them for their next meal (and yours?) Do you have friends you can count on or family? Is your health good? Many, many people on this planet cannot say yes to any of those things. Getting clear on the things you do have to be grateful for—even the basic basics such as “I am not at this moment in the hospital” or “nobody is likely to be shooting at me if I step outside my home” (e.g. those in Iraq or Afghanistan…) counts for a lot. Think on those things.

2.) Think about what you are—or should be—grateful for and make a list of those things. For instance, in my case, I am a cancer survivor now five years out (and hence, considered "cured") That’s huge. I AM grateful, when I stop to think about it. More grateful than there are words to use about it. But now that some time has passed and I’m “safe” it’s far too easy to take that for granted. The thing is I was/am very lucky. You are too, in some ways. No matter what. Figure out what those ways are and what you are grateful for. Make a list.

3.) Focus on people, not things, and certainly not money. I have a wonderful husband, a great family, great mom, thoughtful friends and clients. If I spend my time and energy on how I can make THEIR lives better (or even your life better, gentle reader) then I am not moaning about or mired in my fears. Money fades away and if I dropped dead tomorrow, it’s not the money I made or didn’t make that would have mattered. Same is true for you too. Money comes and goes.

4.) Think about your assets…your inner assets. We all have some. Particularly when we’re scared, it’s easy to think that we’re not good at anything and have nothing to offer. It doesn’t matter who you are, nothing could be farther from the truth. I can write but I can’t add, and I’m physically uncoordinated. My neighbor might only have an eighth grade education but she can cook circles around me. Everyone has something to bring to the table. Consider what you have and focus on (and be grateful for) those things. They mean a lot!

5.) Get help if you need it. It’s out there. American culture such as it is has a huge undercurrent of the (sadly mistaken) idea that we all can and should pull ourselves “up by our own bootstraps.” First of all, I don’t know anyone who even has bootstraps, and second of all—we are all in this world and life together, and that is for a reason. If you don’t know who to turn to, know that there are LOTS of good-hearted strangers out here in the world who care about you just because you are a fellow human. Trust that. reach out. Know that if you are allowing someone to help you, you are giving THEM a blessing. Many communities have a service called 211. (like 411.) to help people find community services. Reach out. Whatever you need, it’s out there. And if you’re in a position to help someone, do. Even if it’s just a kind word or commenting on their blog. (hint, hint.)

The reason why to do all this? It helps your life, and the lives of those around you. Plus it feels much better than feeling terrified, and you are much more likely to get something done!

Saturday, January 31, 2009

Earning Money Online 101


Well I've been casting about for more guidance about how to earn money online with my skillset and what I'm reading is pretty clear. I can sum it up in one word.

PATIENCE.


Too bad I was born without very much.

For example, I'm a writer among various other things, and I'm branching out to sell some stuff I've written to content purchasers, e.g. Triond.

Triond supposedly pays better than a lot of the content guys (such as Associated Content and so on.) but just like AC, it all depends on how many pageviews your content generates.

Just like blogging.

And how does one generate more pageviews? Far as I can tell, it's done with a combination of things that seem to have been lost in our modern society to a degree.... patience and perserverence. Oh yeah, and hard work.

I'm not averse to hard work, and neither is the ever-fabulous Mr. Sanity, and due to the global marketplace and our global economy, we are now competing with people in so-called "developing nations" who are happy to work for $1 to, say, write an article of a thousand words.

(I put quotations around the "developing nations" bit because I think this one is still developing, too.... here in the good ole USA...but once again, I digress...)

Anyway... my job as a blogger is to add value to your life. If I can' t do that, in one way or another, then this is a waste of everyone's time and effort.

So, accordingly, if you landed here because you are looking for ways to make money on line, I'm going to send you on to some places where you can do so. But in all cases, just like me, you're going to almost certainly have some patience.

Here's the list. I'm afraid I didn't link to them, but the info should be here for you to just cut and paste into your browser address bar. If you're not quite sure what that means, than you may need to scale down your expectations for making money online (with all due respect!)

Ebay.com
AssociatedContent.com
Bonanzle.com
squidoo.com
Suite101.com (They only accept certain writers. This may be a good thing...but on the other hand they behave as though there is no interest or market in first person voice written articles. Hullo... that's why there's ten bazillion blogs out there on the internet!)

Well, there will be more where that came from. In the event you're feeling particularly charitable, have a look at my first TrionD offerings, it's about Health Care in the US and how the UK managed to offer health care to all their citizens...

It's located here


Thanks!

Monday, January 26, 2009

It Can Be Done...and We Can Do It!

Although there is some hope that the tide is turning somewhat in the ole USA toward a more caring culture toward each other... it seems that in these times it's really important to remember that there is a great deal that each of us can do on our own toward meeting our needs. We don't have to wait to be rescued... we can get moving, and make a difference in our own lives.


That is not to say that we should not expect help, from our neighbors or from the government when it is needed (after all, governments are about more than just collecting taxes and invading other countries, theoretically) or that every element of every situation we find ourselves in is our own fault.

Ayn Rand was wrong, for the most part, but that's a whole bunch of other posts, and I digress.

My point is that frightened or not, it's critical for all of us to believe in ourselves, to have hope and positive expectations that no matter what we are facing, that we have the ability to make a difference, we are not helpless, lost sheep.

If you find yourself having trouble bringing up that positive attitude--reach out. Talk to others, talk to someone you trust.

Then get moving. Do something, anything. That movement, in and of itself, will help you to feel better.

Friday, January 16, 2009

Downsized? Looking to make a little money?


Unfortunately there's about a billion of us out here in the same boat.

However, I have found this gig where I will make at least a LITTLE money, and if YOU check it out and make some money too.... then, heck, we all win.

They seem to be on the up and up (though not suprisingly, the pay is not stellar...) but what it IS is for real. They use an escrow service (to protect both buyer and seller!) The bulk of the jobs are for programmers, but if you're a writer like me... there's a lot of THAT available too. Click on the link below, and happy working!

http://getafreelancer.com/affiliates/Lancewrite/

Note: this service is one of many, and is a global marketplace; you'll be competing with folks who are happy to write a polished 500 word article for a dollar. Still, if you're new in the game, it's good to start somewhere... and who knows, working at "getafreelancer" may lead to longer term gigs if you satisfy your buyers....

it is not, however, guaranteed to produce sanity.

Thursday, January 15, 2009

Finding out more about yourself can lead to sanity...

Some people I know are afraid to find out more about themselves. "What if I don't like what I find?" they say. "What if there's something WRONG with me???!"

Well, "So what," sez I. There is something "wrong" with any of us... that's a definite feature of being human. Don't like something you find about yourself? You CAN change it. God did NOT create us as a group of helpless automatons!

The internet has a LARGE number of useful tools for finding out more about yourself, your likes/dislikes, what you're good at, your strenths and weaknesses, and so on. One such (free) tool is located here at "queendom" ... where you can find out more about your "emotional intelligence." You will have to register but it looks to be free (and well worth it!)

Whatever you do, don't use your results from any such tests as a method of beating yourself up. You can't hold me responsible for anything you find out, either. Just know that things can get better, and, in fact, they DO!

Sunday, January 11, 2009

Self-Esteem, and where to get some

One of the things I've been shocked by in my adult life is the number of people who suffer from low self esteem--anything from mediocre self esteem to really non-existent. Not that I have the greatest self-esteem in the world, mind you, I've just been able to work on my own to where it's not nearly as low as it once was.

Low self-esteem is one of the most hampering, handicapping things that a person can endure.

It leads to difficulties in relationships, career, and even, sometimes to suicide or other self-destructive actions.

But what it DOESN'T have to be is permanent.

There are a multitude of resources out there that can help: one I recommend regularly is a book called "How To Raise Your Self-Esteem" by Nathaniel Branden. I've included a link to the book on the right, in case you want to purchase the book from amazon right away.

I also recommend "Feeling Good," A book by David Burns, and "You can't afford the Luxury of A Negative Thought."

Also, a blog called "High Self-Esteem" has some excellent ideas about how to build your self esteem...I've linked to some specific exercises that may be helpful. Take a look!

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Five of the Best Blogs I've found to Help You Stay Sane

There's no question that there's a lot of good stuff on the web, and there's a lot of dross, too. Here's a short list of some of the blogs that have helped me to keep MY sanity. What are yours?

1.) Joe's Goals --This blog has a bunch of interesting perspective, tools, and inspirational reads.
2.) Eric Blue's Blog--(personal development section) great selection of "lifehacks" tips, tools, and some cool stuff on mindmapping.
3.) Deepak Chopra and Family--(on beliefnet blogs.) Say what you will about Chopra, he's got some great thoughts and useful advice for many of us.
4.) Advanced Life Skills--I think this guy has a lot of excellent points, some of which I haven't seen anywhere else.
5.) Roni's Weigh--for the many millions of us out here fighting the battle of the bulge. I've been lurking in Roni land for a long time now and even had a blog there at one point (she has a community of weight loss blogs.) This chick is the real deal, and makes a lot of sense. (has lots of useful hints)

Monday, January 5, 2009

Holy Crap


This just in here at Insane World Central. Apparently the fine folks live blogging the Madoff congressional hearings (y'know, the guy who stole billions of dollars yet gets HOUSE arrest, in his palace, no less...) quotes one of the congress critters as saying:

The Ponzi scheme “fell through the cracks of our regulatory system” and that regulators should have detected the Madoff scam much earlier. Most shocking, Mr. Kanjorski said, was that after Mr. Madoff misled the S.E.C. about being an investment company, the Commission never went back in to investigate the firm. “Clearly our regulatory system has failed miserably and we must fix it now,” he said.


Oh, I see. A FIFTY BILLION DOLLAR CRACK IN THE SYSTEM?

Don't believe me?

If anyone can enlighten me on why anyone is still arguing for less regulation, of these financial whiz kid bastards, I'm more than willing to listen to your point of view...

Well, maybe...

Sunday, January 4, 2009

Some Tips for Being Happy- Face The Contradictions


I have the privilege of working with a number of people in a variety of different ways, and a few of them have a great deal of sadness and difficulty dealing with the reality of the fact that life is completely full of contradictions, slice it up how you like. I ran across these tips on an interesting blog called "The Happiness Project." (located here) These tips are all about embracing the contradictions that life is full of, rather than tying yourself in knots trying to make everything make sense.

The tips are:

  1. Accept yourself, but expect more of yourself.
  2. Keep an empty shelf, and keep a junk drawer.
  3. Take yourself less seriously—and take yourself more seriously.
  4. Use your time efficiently, yet make time to play, to wander, to read at whim, to fail.
  5. Think about yourself so you can forget yourself.
  6. The days are long, but the years are short.

Words, it seems to me, to get comfortable with. (And goodness knows I've got the second half of #2 more than covered! ) I'm going to try to use them to help support my sanity in 2009. How about you?

Saturday, January 3, 2009

Framing The Health Care Crisis: How do we do it? Talk is not cheap....


George Lakoff did me - and I think, the world - a favor, when he brought attention to the idea of "framing" in his book "Don’t think of an Elephant." Due in no small part to reading that book, I began to think differently about my work, about the world, and even began to believe that I may have the capacity to make a difference in the world and in the political process. If you haven’t read it I encourage you to do so, even though some of the "frames" put forth are certainly open to debate.

One of the very most pressing issues of our time is the DESPERATE need for universal health care in these United States. NYCEve on dKos and others point out tirelessly the reality that people are dying due to the mess on our hands. That’s reality, and it bears repeating.

The spark for this posting was people asking me the question "How can anyone be against universal health care?" I realized I really wanted to know the answer to that question, and that in terms of advancing the cause,that I feel it is imperative for us to understand the "frames" of the opposition. I don’t claim to have all the answers, but follow me on as I explore....

Part of the critical piece that Lakoff puts forward is that when the facts are in conflict with the frames that we have around an issue, that people tend to throw away the facts and keep the frame. This is witnessed, for example, by the fact that in 2003, even with lots of coverage to the contrary, four out of ten people believed that we HAD found weapons of mass destruction in Iraq...

So it’s reasonable to assume the same sort of cognitive dissonance also occurs in relation to health care. I’ve assembled some of the frames of the opposition....Hopefully as a community we can come together and work on how to re-frame these issues. I believe that is part of how we change society, and that is part of how we end up with universal health care.

Frame #1. "The Nanny State." (I had never heard this expression, apparently, it's common...)

Some conservatives believe that what we are trying to create is a "nanny state" that takes care of everything, absolves us of personal responsibility, and is bloated and huge.

Hold your nose. This is a post from Freeperland (AKA "The Free Republic.")

Before you can have "universal healthcare," you will have to surrender all of your freedoms. The nanny state will tell you what you can and cannot drink and eat. The government will also dictate to you what you can and cannot do. "Universal healthcare" will finally give the Communist "DemocRATS" what they've always dreamed of having. TOTAL CONTROL OVER THE POPULATION.

Ok, well, this certainly implies that a freedom frame is necessary. That health=freedom. That there will be limits on governmental control, in re: health care.

Total control over the population? Yeah, right. I won’t dignify that with a response....

It’s important to note, however, that there is a tone on some Freep threads that implies that some of them "get it," at least that there is a crisis, that something needs to be done. However, there is also lots of talk about "slackers" and people who won’t pay $100 a month for health insurance.

You don’t have to look far to see what it is that people are fearing about universal health care...addressing these fears will be an important part of the efforts: (This is more from the "freeps." Funny, that rhymes with "creeps!")

It's only a vote away. Start thinking what doctor and hospital you will be assigned to, not that you will have much choice. And you doctors out there, start thinking about how you can speed up the entire process so you can accomodate lots more patients. Soon your office waiting rooms will look like the waiting rooms at the hospital and you'll have your hands more than full - for less money.

There is at least one doctor posting there in full glory that is outraged about the "universal health care" discussion—he sees it as "slavery and servitude," and says he’ll retire before working in such a system. Granted, maybe his patients would be better off if he got out of the business, but that’s beside the point. I think this needs to be addressed. In the UK, doctors are allowed to take private insurance, can see private patients, and can charge whatever the market will bear, I think, if they wish to do so. I think this needs to be built into the system~ Good ole American greed is not going to go away—and allowing for this is part of how this change can happen, IMHO.

From www.whereistand.com: (an interesting site that lets you vote on "where you stand" on issues...)

"The government has no duty, and no right, to be the guardian of public health. Medical costs are outrageous, and regulations should be made to prevent the industry from gouging people in need, and everyone should give liberally to help those in need, but the costs of a person's medical treatments are their own; taxpayers have no obligation to pay for them; the government should not force charity."

Forcing charity... now there’s a frame. "Obligation." You’re on your own. Ducky.

I never thought the day would come that I’d read something Newt Gingrich had to say on purpose, but check out this:

"First, the act should establish a Capabilities Program to help both Americans with disabilities and those with work-related or other injuries lead the fullest possible lives. The program should provide incentives to people with disabilities to be productive, rather than threatening them with a loss in benefits if they get a job. The program should also allow participants to capitalize on technologies and therapies that maximize their abilities, and that emphasize integration into social, family and work life."
...sounds relatively sane, right? Read on...

"This philosophy closely resembles the government's successful approach to rehabilitating and reintegrating amputees and other wounded veterans from the Iraq campaign."


Oh yeah, while members of the public have to send our wounded soldiers PHONE CARDS and while a lot of them qualify for food stamps?? Ok, sure, I’m over here believing that....

Gingrich continues:

"The second area would address the needs of the relatively healthy poor, who have much different needs than people with disabilities or the elderly. Poor individuals should be offered vouchers for health savings accounts that sensitize them to the benefits of prevention, wellness and early detection."

That smacks of a frame that "poor people are sick because they don’t take care of themselves..."

But wait... health SAVINGS accounts?? I don’t think so. This reinforces the frame that it’s NOT a "right" to have health care... that it’s your responsibility to "get your own." I am capable of spending a lot of time and energy doing effective comparison shopping when I am really sick, how about you?

More Newt:

This would also encourage a more rational use of health care; prenatal care, for example, is far cheaper than neonatal intensive care.

Ok, sure. That last bit after the semi-colon is true. Part of what has made this exploration interesting is how they’ll start with one piece that has a grain of truth in it—and then go to left field. For example, the sentence above is followed by:

Government leaders need to rethink the part of Medicaid serving the healthy poor in the same way we rethought welfare in the 1990s.

Didn’t we "rethink" welfare by kicking people off of it? Hmmmmm......

A red-stater speaks: (Sorry, I don't link to hate-sites like Red State or Freep. Google it yourself, if you must...)

"Canadians DIE while on waiting lists for government-funded treatment. It isn’t unusual to see Canadians crossing our northern border to get treatment for various ailments before they become life-threatening. Waiting lines for needed services like MRI’s and non-elective surgeries are growing in Canada. If you were faced with a choice between risking your life by waiting for so-called "free" health care, or visiting a private practice and paying your own way, what would you do? A "long wait" at an American clinic generally means a couple of hours. In Canada, it can stretch into weeks.


Ok, so I went to check that out, even though the facts get discarded, it’s important to know them, right? The truth of the matter (as our Canadian friends can attest...) is encapsulated in a study I found:

Opponents of the Canadian health care system commonly conjure up the image of hordes of Canadians crossing the border to receive health care in the U.S. due to long waiting lists. Yet, the studies that have been done on this issue do not support the legitimacy of this idea. Katz et al [14] developed a multi-faceted strategy to study this issue, drawing upon 1) Surveys of ambulatory clinics in three large U.S. cities near the Canada border (Detroit, Buffalo, Seattle); 2) State hospital discharge data from Michigan, New York, and Washington State; and 3) Surveys of the U.S. News and World Report "America's Best Hospitals", where Canadians might be thought to go to for care.

* 136 ambulatory healthcare facilities in Detroit, Buffalo, and Seattle responded to the survey. In 1997-1998, 52 of these facilities reported seeing no Canadians, 56 reported seeing fewer than 10, 21 reported seeing 21-25, and 7 reported seeing more than 25.

* Federal and provincial government surveys of the citizenry. Only 90 of 18,000 respondents to the 1996 Canadian National Population Health Survey indicated they had received health care in America in the past year, and only 20 of these had gone to the U.S. specifically for that purpose.


So that’s another frame and another fear. We have the "best system in the world" and "people want to come here for our medical treatment" and if we "change it, you will have to wait forever and pay more," (like the poor Canadians do...) (/snark)

...all unfounded fears, of course. Ask any European or Canadian and nine out of ten would rather have their system than our so-called system, nine out of ten will say they'd keep their own, thanks...

Other anti-health-care writers posit that "they don’t see how they will benefit" if they have to "pay for a fat man’s bypass." It seems to me that this is a frame that we need to construct—as to how, exactly, you benefit, say, if the company you work for no longer has to pay for your health care and so, your wages go up. Or, say, if your accountant is not worrying about how his mom is going to pay for a broken hip or their child who is in an oncology ward.

Unfortunately, I don’t have all the answers, ( I do have enough material saved to write about this for days, but I’ll stop here for now.) I do know this topic needs close consideration and discussion, over and over again. That’s how we get the frames and memes and concepts into the general converstation.

Digby sums up some of this quite nicely in a post here:

The Republicans have an economic framing model that's very successful and we can learn from it. They sell an optimistic, simple philosophy of "If only the government would get out of the way you can be successful." This means that if you aren't successful it's the government's fault. (And Democrats believe in government so they are actively working to keep you down.) Their frame is always, entirely, the frame of self reliance and self interest. They preach it as a moral good no matter what the situation. This is a notion that has a very long history in American culture and it's one that appeals to a very basic aspect of human nature. It has become the dominant strain in political discourse over the last thirty years.

NOTE: We see how well the "Government getting out of the way worked out vis-a-vis the current economic meltdown, no?"

Anyway, I think Digby's post is very telling. It says that while the Republicans have been able to move self interest to the front and center of political discourse, displacing the values of community and altruism as things people feel they ought to say when quizzed about such things.

He’s right. The question is....how are we going to change that?

Do I have takers for a discussion? Thanks for reading...

What's It All About?


This blog will be a melange of a number of things, not just focused on politics, but observations, helpful hints, mental health, and so on and so forth. Like an attic, you just never know what you might find here.

Quote for today:

"Fall Seven Times. Stand Up Eight."

~Chinese Proverb

Comments welcome! Thanks for stopping by....